Relief

Tonight, at 8:18, she got the text.

"Hug?"

She didn't reply.

They were both single. Nightly, she and her neighbor would text or IM the other, then they would walk out onto the sidewalk in front of her house and hug goodnight. It was certainly a sweet routine. She knew that he would rather the hug progressed to something more, but she was noncommittal.

Last night, she had changed out of her pajamas for the hug. She put on a violet skirt and a black top. She noticed in the mirror that her breasts looked larger than usual. Perhaps her period was coming. She ran down the stairs, opened the front door, then the gate and waited under the tree. She didn't know what kind of tree it was, but it had waxy deep green leaves and hummingbirds flew around it in the early morning. When she had time she lay in bed and stared at them.

She started to march in place to stay warm.

"Boo!" He jumped up from behind a car.

"You scared me."

"Hug?"

The hug was unremarkable. She gave him the same big squeeze she gave everyone. It was supposed to inspire trust and a feeling of safety. He had broad shoulders, but was short, like her. He had blue eyes. She listened to him talking and pretended to ignore when he stared at her chest.

He told her about her day. Lots of plans: some little, some big. She nodded.

"I have to go."

"But you just got here!"

"I'm cold in this skirt." It wasn't a lie. She could feel the goosebumps on the backs of her legs.

"One more hug?" He smiled, and she knew she couldn't ever feel anything but pity for him.

This time, instead of squeezing, she went limp. She rested on his shoulder. She couldn't remember a time when her back had felt so loose. He pulled her tighter and started caressing her slowly. She grew aware that she was supposed to kiss him, or to cry, or something.

"OK! I have to go. Goodnight!" She pulled away, fumbled with her keys, opened the two gates and climbed back to her bedroom. She hurried back into her pajamas, dropping the skirt and shirt onto the floor and fell back on top of her still made bed wishing she was someone else.