Whenever he is talking, no matter the subject, I think, "Shut up. Shut up." At the beginning, and for a long time after, I responded to his conversation, asking questions, giving suggestions and generally participating. When he didn't engage with my responses, I switched to nodding and humming in agreement. Now, I find that I can read a book or type on my computer and that he keeps on talking without any acknowledgment whatsoever.
At first meeting he seems like a fascinating man with a lot to say. Otherwise, I don't think I would have liked him so much. I was giddy when I thought about him. There were warning signs at the beginning, though. After we first slept together I should have known that it couldn't last. After my orgasm, he looked at me with self-satisfied triumph. He seemed to be expecting applause. As if I was so lucky to have had the opportunity to sleep with him. I know some women do lie to men. You know, "Oh! I haven't had an orgasm in three years. Tee hee." Like that. It gives all of these men incredibly overinflated egos.
Never mind the fact that when we are having sex he looks like a praying mantis because of the way his body careens away from mine. Has anyone ever had the nerve to tell him that before? Would it possibly make him shut up? More likely he wouldn't even notice. Worse, it would just give him something else to talk about.
Anyway, I should have known, but I didn't. And now I have to figure out how to break up with this guy. I want to be nice about it, though. I mean, he isn't so bad. I think he really does like me. He just is a verbal processor. He can't really help it. In a way, I am the bad person for feeling the way I do. I just wish he would shut up.
1 comment:
Powerful in a different way. Seems so true. I like the conversational style of it. There's a subtle grace and real power in these stories.
Inspiring!
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